


God's Plan

by Botchycas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas loves Dean, Dean Loves Cas, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Human Castiel, Hunter Dean, M/M, Sad, Supernatural - Freeform, sam not involved but I love him to death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 08:30:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5532614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Botchycas/pseuds/Botchycas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>God knows how much Castiel loves Dean, and he hated it. He left Castiel with choices. Let him die, or let Dean die. It was a simple choice from Castiel, but will he tell Dean how he feels?</p>
            </blockquote>





	God's Plan

**Author's Note:**

> My first work, yeey! I do not own the characters, everything is from the show. Hope you'll enjoy this.

"Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas."

Dean's words was still trapped in Castiel's mind. They didn't seem to stop bothering him. He could never erase those words and that was the small things he hated by being human. Hell, he even remembered how Dean said it. His voice so harsh and impertinent. Even his eyes showed him how much it was true. Castiel was broken by a lot of things, but Dean was the topic of every shed of tears he had to live through. Still, he loved Dean more than anything. 

How could an ex-angel still so strong and powerful, fall in love so hurtful?

He was questioning everything back to when he felt those small things anytime he was around Dean. When his cheeks would become so warm as Dean called his name, or how Cas was yearning for sleep so he could dream. Oh, so he wanted to dream. 

He had learned a few things about humanity and how easily it could break you.

Like those times when Dean would go out to a bar, only to bring home another mysterious woman. Castiel would sit on his bed, deeply listening to Dean's breath as he slept. Castiel would count the breaths Dean took, only to dream to be the one laying on top of him, listening to every beat of his heart.

Castiel couldn't do it anymore. It would just break him to continue.

Castiel sat there, looking at nothing at all with his hands in his lap, but his mind exploding. He was peacefully sitting by the biggest table they had in the bunker. 

Castiel admired this place; it was all so quiet. And everytime anyone would come in through the doors, its sound would echo throughout the whole batcave. Castiel liked that, he found it soothing. He had discovered how tones and melodies could easly alleviate and calm his thoughts off. But not for long.

Then the sound appeard again. The echo. Its sound drifting through every corner of the whole bunker, only to find its silence as it ended. That was the best part. The absolute silent. But that was when there were more time to think which Castiel didn't really like.

"Cas?"

Castiel smiled to himself, but not that big one which made his skin around his eyes wrinkle. No, this was the smile Castiel made when he felt himself dreamy or nervous. It was Dean's voice, after all. Sure, Dean's voice was dark, but Castiel never heard it that way. It was more soothing to him, like some sort of a melody. A melody he wanted to have along with himself the rest of his life. Castiel didn't move. He couldn't think of a way that this would change. But he knew that Dean was looking at him from the top stairs. The sound of Dean walking down the stairs went quiet. Dean sat down next to Castiel.

"Talk to me." He simply demanded.

Castiel smiled to himself again, but avoiding Dean's eyes. Dean must have noticed the silence Castiel had carried, ever since Castiel knew. He looked up again, but seeing the man he loved in blurryness. His eyes were tearing apart.

"Cas?" Dean gripped Castiel's shoulder, Castiel almost winced away, but kept calm, "what's going on, man?" Dean's eyes were filled anger and looked so fragile. No wonder, Dean had been through a lot.

He looked worried. Of course he would be, Dean loved his family; it was all he had left.

"Tell me!" Dean's voice wasn't so soft anymore. He wanted answers, but Castiel couldn't let it leave his mouth.

Castiel got up. He spun around, his head hanging. Dean got up as well. Castiel closed his eyes, trying to get rid of the tears that were already trembeling down his cheeks. He took a deep breath, hoping it would be his last. "I can't be here anymore."He finally admitted, trying his best to sound angry, or at least not sad. But it broke him so to say it loud. 

"What the heck are you talking about?"

Castiel turned around. Dean looked so worried, worn out, concerned and soul filled with sorrow and heartbreak. Castiel ignored the things he knew, because after all, he was the one who rebuilt Dean's body and knew everything about his personality. He suddenly felt scared, and spoke in a hurry while looking around himself. 

"God knows. He knows everything. He states that I am a decrepit angel, therefore I should not be here. Not on earth, not with you."

Dean was breathless, but mostly confused. "Have anyone hurt you?" He asked instead.

"Dean. The transforming power of God's redeeming grace is lost. Because of me. I've done something bad, Dean. He knows-"

"What, Cas? What does he know? What have you done?" Dean was turning mad, might be after the stubbornness.

"I can't tell you."

"Castiel, if you don't tell me what's going on, I can't help you fix it."

Castiel's heart somehow felt like it flipped. Never had Dean called him Castiel.

"God disallowed me for my thoughts and actions. He is going to take all this away from me. I will be gone in at least an hour, no matter what you do. I know you might find this mystifying, but please, do me a favour and do not ask."

Dean was silent, most likely thinking through everything. He would be good and smart in these situations, but not in this one. No, the ending of this one didn't have any other way.

"It was a pleasure knowing you. Thank you."

By then, Dean's eyes were shining. The green colour was becoming blurry and watery. It was beautiful, though. It hurt Cas even more to see Dean like that. "Please," His soft voice cracked, "why?" 

Castiel walked closer to him, wrapping his tired arms around him. Dean almost began sobbing into Castiel's shoulder, still having no idea.

But this was too hard for Castiel. He couldn't stand it. He lifted his head up, perfect spot to whisper into Dean's right ear. The words he had been dreaming about was just going to be told, even though he was so afraid. His dry lips parted and he said it. Low, but he said it.

"I love you."

He closed his eyes as he smiled. It didn't care what Dean would reply to now, Castiel was going to vanish anyway. It didn't care if Dean began hurting him in disgust, because Castiel knew how the world reacted to this kind of love. It didn't matter, because he was soon to be gone. Forever.

Dean was his saviour, yet the villain, without knowing it.

Dean's arm wasn't around Castiel anymore. Instead, they were cupped around Castiel's red, swollen chins. Castiel didn't expect this. He waited for the blood to come out of his nose by Dean's fist, or anything. Nothing happened. Nothing. Castiel opened his eyes in concern and wonders. It was a tiny pause until Dean spoke.

"I-I love you, too."

Castiel wanted to tore his way out of Dean's hands, to tell him that he couldn't. That Dean was going to hate him, but it was a hint of butterflies resting in Castiel's body. This couldn't happen. Dean did not love Castiel. "Hey," Dean said, still cupping his face. "It's okay. It's okay." Castiel was about to tell him it wasn't, but then the air between them seemed smaller and smaller. Every other problem in that moment was gone.They didn't care anymore. They didn't want to think about Heaven, Hell or Earth, because they had each other. They belonged and they knew that by then.

Dean saw blue, Castiel saw green. 

Their lips was inches a part, yet so far away. Castiel smiled as he felt the breath of Dean on his lips. So close. Dean smiled as for once he felt like the happiest man alive. Everything was spinning, until everything wasn't. Castiel appearence was gone. His breath on Dean's close lips were gone. Dean's hands dropped. Castiel was gone. 

Castiel was taken away from everything. From his family and the humanity he loved. Castiel spent an infinity alone, his memory showing him the time he had on earth. The humans he met, the one human he fell in love with.

All this happened because Castiel forgot God's first rule for angels;

Do not fall in love with a human.


End file.
